At first, I kind of considered 2008 to be a big bag of fail. Not that it was a bad year by any means, but for the most part, it was so quiet. This time last year I was really happy to be moved back into my room at home instead of being the dorms, and I still am. I can't describe how it felt to be back home, to be putting all things into place, and knowing that when break ended, I wouldn't have to withstand that transition of going back to dorm life--the people everywhere, the constant busyness, having newly made friends around you, but no family.
And now, a year later, I think that I'm at the point where I know that I can be content staying here, but am also open to the idea of moving out. It's not as though I'm going to pack up and move out tommorow, but I'm getting more and more comfortable with the idea, not to mention more comfortable with the fact that yes, I have anxiety issues, yeah, they prevent me from living my life exactly the way I want to, but still, my life is not going to be hindered by this-I can what I want with this life of mine, now matter how little it is.

2008 wasn't all bad, not at all--I made the Dean's List, both semesters. I spent 10 days with my best friends in Europe, enjoying my last summer as a teenager and my first experience outside of the country. I dated someone, and though it ended, the experience made me realize that dating can be fun, that I am not damaged in any way that makes me incable of connecting with someone. I made new friends, & I kept in touch with old ones. It might not seem like a whole lot, but to me, it's been a good year.
A pretty good year. And all I can hope for is that the next will bring more and better times worth remembering. =)

  It's been completely grey and chilling all day; a good day to stay in under a blanket and do nothing. Which is pretty much what I've been doing, albeit a good room cleaning and a late afternoon run. 
 The house is suddenly very very quiet. My sisters were here all this past week and both had to leave yesterday, which makes me wonder if it would be easier to get used to them gone if they left gradually. "At least we have you, Rach," my Mum said on the way to my Aunt's house for Thanksgiving. It's not as though I'm getting ready to leave, but hearing that reminds me of how hard it'll still be for me when the time comes. 
  Thanksgiving was really nice- we went all out, and everything was vegetarian. Everyone says things like "Oh, your poor dad," because he's the only non-vegetarian in the group of 5 (including my sister's boyfriend), but he's a good sport. But isn't it amazing how all the time you put into preparation can pretty much be scarfed down in 15 minuites? We started eating at 3:00, and were sitting around the table with empty plates at 3:15, complementing each other and/or groaning due to food overdose. Afterwards, my dad and sister & I went for a hike in the woods and looked around for a good place to put the beehive we intend to get. We had to talk loud over the crunching of leaves, but eventually found a pretty perfect place my dad found. It's by a big tree with a hollow middle that my sisters & I used to stand up when we were little (!), right next to a nearby creek and a cornfield. The idea of a beehive is exiting for us- we hoping that we can get a jar of honey and maybe be able to make beeswax goodies like Burt's Bees, but Sarah is afraid that we'll get swarmed, stung & dead. I'm a bit more optimistic. Anyways, afterthat we came across this spot were there were all these vines that were low to ground and looked like swings, right next to one another. So my sister & I sit in them & start talking like we're little British children and laughing. "Oh look, this delightful tree has little swings on it! Ah ha,ahahaha." And right in the middle of our merry British laughter a branch falls & hits Sam on the head. We pause. And then we crack up. It was hilarious!!! I tried not to laugh and made sure she was alright, but it was just too funny. "I'm alright... I'd laugh if it happened to you." (She would!)
The rest of the day was pretty nice as well. My sisters & I squished in my bed & drank mulled wine and watched a Garfield Halloween and a Garfield Thanksgiving (do the mashed potato! do the candied yam!) 
So all in all, it was a nice Thanksgiving.

The feast was magnificent, I must say. The menu consisted of these faux turkey nuggets with stuffing built into the nugget (I'm not even kidding, it was amazing), faux turkey with delicious mushroom gravy (I love you, Whole Foods), brocholli caserole, my seven layer salad, rolls, cranberry sauce, Sam's sweet pototoes, green fluffy stuff, Tyler's amazing mac&cheese, and dessert and cider. SO GOOD! I had an interesting conversation with Tyler, that I found quite funny. "Rachel, would you say that your family is nice to each other 100% of the time?" I look at Sarah, confused. "Maybe 99% of the time. How come you ask?" "Well do you think that's normal?" I ponder. I haven't really thought about it, ever. Do you think it's normal?" "No. Not really. I'm just worried you guys are going to have unreachable standards. Like you're going to date someone, go to their family's house for holidays and find all these fighting people and be like "WHAT IS THIS!?!?" Hmm...Hope that doesn't happen. =) Oh well, I don't think being unusually nice is too bad of a thing to be.

I think everyone should celebrate inner child day. Everyone could wear comfy clothes, like onesy pajamas or mismatched pants and shirts. Playing tag in the park would be work & coloring could be your job. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches would be the best food around. You could make a tent in the living room & store your favorite toys and things inside. Watch Disney movies and drink kool-aid and have no worries. Wouldn't that be the best? It could be an inner child week...hey, I'm starting now. Today.