"You need to start putting yourself out there, Rach."
"How am I not putting myself out there? I'm nice. I smile at people. What am I doing wrong then?"
"You're just resistant to the idea that someone likes you."
"I just don't want to run around thinking someone likes me when they don't. Besides, there are no men at school."
"Men? What about boys?"
"None of them, either. The place is rampant with chicks."

A conversation with my older sister. Nice. At one point she said something along the lines of "Do you want to be brave, or spend the rest of your life alone."
I gave her a look. "That was a mean thing to say. Thanks, Sarah. I really appreciate this."
"I'm just kidding, don't get so defensive."
"That was a cruel thing to say. I dated over the summer, didn't I? What do you suggest I do?"
"Do you actually think I was being serious, Rach? C'mon, you know that's not going to happen."
"Well, I don't really want to hear that, okay?"

My best friend & I were actually taking about how we get scared thinking that there's no one right "out there," and this something that really bothered me to hear.
As much as I love my sister & I'm glad she's home, I do not appreciate the fact that she wants to pychoanalyze me and integrate me into the world of boys. Why is so wrong to be patient? To hope for someone good for me, and not just settle? I know the boys I date are few and far between, but I'm not the kind of person who wants to have to go to parties and get drunk to find a boyfriend. I want to meet someone like couples meet in old movies. I want to be with someone who doesn't care that I have self-esteem issues and like to curl up at home more often than go out. Changing yourself to fit into someone else's world is what they always tell you NOT to do...so what is everyone trying to tell me now? Being alone isn't fun for me, I miss having someone hold me till I fall asleep & feeling good about myself because someone else sees worth in me. But I don't think I need to run around trying to persue someone & something I'm not feeling just for the sake of it. Maybe that's a perk of being young, that you can do that, but that's not want I want to do. I want something with a bit more meaningful.