I'm so achey for summer. Plans have already been made in my head- I will tons of photographs, photographs of friends with green dappled bokeh light behind them. Pictures of picnics & fireworks & swimming in innertubes & catching fireflies. I'll go to the movies and not worry about how many calories are in all of that butter. Maybe it'll be like last year, going on a movie date, tickling the boy's palm beside me & getting my fingertips kissed.
And I'll write things,  things I hopefullly won't be embarrassed with. I'll run faster & further than I have been, &I'll get one of those kiddie pools & lay in the sunshine. I'll drink cheap wine & champagne with my friends until we're laughing at each other laughing at nothing. I'd like to get a little tent & fill it with blankets and just live in it for a while. I want to swim in big lakes and float right in the center of it. Sometimes, when I'm really nervous & anxious, I just recall how it feels to backfloat--your limbs surrounded by water, your body floating, your ears thrumming with water...it's the most peaceful thing I can think of. It reminds me of the last lines in "The Piano,"..."it's a strange lullaby, but it is mine."

This last week has left me so exhausted, I just want to curl up with the shades drawn and sleepsleepsleep for a while. Not until finals, though.

Wow, this is entirely random, but I just drank a lot of coffee on an empty stomache & I feel strange. My hands are shakey & I keep twisting them.