This saddens me greatly.

But just because you gave in once doesn't mean you have to give in again. It doesn't mean all is lost. I mean, you went x number of months, and that's an accomplishment. And this doesn't cancel it out. And it proves that you can abstain for x number of months again, because you already did it once.

You don't suck. Maybe it's something about the tail end of winter, or the beginning of spring. Or this part in the semester, or the academic year. I always had a hard time in Spring even though my seasonal depression was getting better, by then I was always kind of burnt out.

You know how to find me if you want to talk.

If this is what I think it is...
Dont chalk it up to lunar activity or anything else in your surrounding environment that may have made you do it. Shit happens in life and most of it hurts like mad, no one denies that. But it's on you how you decide to deal. You are so much stronger and way better than this. It's okay to have slip ups, but you get back on the horse, sweetie.

Hugs.

but whattttt! you're always so haaaappppyy :) please be happy now tooo
and i know i'm late to reply to this and lots of other people have already said nice things but i want to say things too! i don't think you suck at all and i don't think you should be angry at yourself or disappointed or anything because i doubt it's your fault. wintertime and stuff always is gloomy and really only after summer comes do i personally feel normal again..

smile :)